The 6th International Conference on Self-Determination Theory

Parents have a vast impact on their children’s development, adaptation and well-being (Masten & Shaffer, 2006). Although several studies have now shown that the optimal parenting style is authoritative (i.e., providing structure, acceptation and autonomy support), it is often challenging “to parent” in this way. in this workshop, we will present concrete skills from the parenting program “How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk” (Faber & Mazlish, 1980, 2000, 2010). This How-to Program is inspired by the humanistic child psychologist Haim Ginott (1922-1973), whose writings also inspired the operational definition of autonomy support. as such, it is highly coherent with the essence of autonomy support, and shows parents how to provide structure in a more autonomy-supportive way, while communicating unconditional regard (Joussemet, Mageau & Koestner, 2014). We will first present preliminary evidence for the effectiveness of this program over a one year period. Next, we will share ways in which parents may support their children’s basic needs:  when child feels distressed, doesn’t cooperate, misbehaves, could make decisions, does well, is stuck in a role. We will end by sharing our experience with implementing and evaluating this parenting program in grade schools.

Learning objectives:
By the end of the workshop, you will be able to:
a) Better understand the basic principles of being autonomy-supportive; that is, to be empathic, descriptive and to encourage active participation (in decision making and problem solving);
b) Put concrete autonomy-supportive behaviors into practice, with a child or any other communication partner (e.g., by listening with an open and present attention, talking in a more respectful, non-evaluative way);
c) Introduce this materiel to parents and professionals working with children.
Ultimately, you may contribute to help children:
a) self-regulate in a flexible and mindful way;
b) identify their strengths but also what they feel, think, and wish;
c) accept themselves for who they are and grow accordingly.